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kingdomhearts2012-03-19 09:27 pm
walking_forward) wrote in kingdomhearts2012-03-19 09:27 pm
Entry tags:
Fanfic: Stitch it back; Roxas+Sora
Title: Stitch it back
Author: walking_forward
Character focus: Roxas and Sora
Spoilers: Recoded, particulary close to the ending, and some for the BBS
epilogue.
Summary: Sora had his own suffering. Roxas had his. That might be a problem.
Copy of a copy.
He wasn't really intended to be here, here with the not real Sora in the world of data.
(The word data itself already left a bad taste through out his senses, along with actually being composed of it.)
Wasn't really needed.
Didn't have a role in the grand scheme of things.
No one even knew he was here.
But he was.
He was, with the hurricanes in his being picking up wind as slowly as the not real Sora's smiles stretching upon the not real Sora's face.
No asked him to be here, but no one stopped him from being here either.
So he decided he would be needed.
In his own way.
They're not real after all, he tells not real Sora.
None of them.
If you're not real, what does that make me?
But not real Sora doesn't answer, because the mirrored stranger never asked.
Hurt them, break them, doesn't matter.
It won't go away he tells his other.
Never will.
They will forget.
You don't have to suffer for them.
Just release the pain, don't hold it.
Not real Sora's smile breaks, he's clutching a heart that's not there. What's his heart suppose to do if he can't feel himself beating? Well he's here to judge. If this fake Sora can't deal with it then what of the real one? The real one who's a real heart? But that one is the other nobody's problem, this one is his alone.
The not real Sora looks at him saying, they might forget, they're not the real ones, but for me at least doing something like that would never dissapear from my heart.
He doesn't know if he really wants to punch the fake with that fake smile until it's no more of not even memories; but he's the only one here, the only one who can know for sure. So he doesn't. Doesn't know if it's not right or something he doesn't want. For now he either didn't care or cared too much.
No. Don't even joke.
You're a fool, he told him. Then he leaves, always watching and expecting what comes next.
(Except for the whole Wonderland fiasco where not real Sora actually did mess things up, but got praised and punished with kindness instead. he wondered if Axel would have liked interacting with that world, but he pushes that away. Memories do funny things, he doesn't have an Axel anyway. Then he wonders who Axel was before dismissing the subject away. Does not matter, he tells himself).
Not real Sora smiled and blushed, but the smile weakened and he, of course, forgot the ones who caused such feelings.
You forgot them, he stated to his wondering other.
Yeah, this hole inside me won't go away.
Out of sight out of mind. What does someone you forgot matter anyway. Just forget the pain along with them.
No. This pain tells me what's real or not real. I'll keep it.
He's gone again.
Everything's on schedule.
Not real Sora is at the end of the line. He tells him it's done. He's done everything, everything and still he lost his memories. But not the pain. Memories fool and trick you, they're not reliable at all. They can be your best friends seemingly forever but then leave you feeling like you're nothing.
You lose something in order to gain. The memories you've lost have made you gain pain in their place. You think carrying the pain you feel will make you remember what you forgot.
That's my theory, the smile is back again like a boomerang.
You'll never be free of hope now, he tells his ugly truth.
The pain owns you now, he tells not real Sora. Never to be free of it, never to mend or break it. He had his chance. The light got snuffed out and replaced with the hook of darkness, embedding into his heart with massive weight behind it tearing the hole deeper and bigger for the pain to settle forever.
All this to trick me into darkness?, not real Sora asked, the look he has is more for himself than anyone. Not real Sora only does that for him.
Yes. Illusions that you fell for. You're easy to break, he's acting more spiteful now.
Not real Sora's determination growls at him, let's see who breaks who first.
Gone again.
To appear again.
He can already tell how things went.
Empty inside.
Anything but, I'm filled with pain I don't even remember recieving. I'm sad that I miss someone I don't remember.
And so, you hurt, he's only stating the obvious.
You'll be dragged down into darkness that way. Just cut it all out of you, he's telling not Sora to save himself before it's too late. He's the only one giving him this chance.
No...
No?
I want it, not Sora tells him, it reminds me I forgot something - something important. I can't run. I have to keep it. It's the thing that will tie me to others.
You'll be dragged into darkness.
I accept it. I have to, not Sora won't let go.
Ridiculous.
He will show the other true pain, with his own hands!
They clash.
A copy of a copy can't win.
What, am I not worth it, he asks the other who won't strike him down.
...
Not Sora doesn't need words to tell him the obvious.
Data like everyone else. Just an illusion of a shadow even. What's there to destroy when it's not even real?
You sure pack a punch for someone who's just an illusion, Not Sora shocks his thoughts away.
I feel your hurt, I feel something sharp - intense, but familiar. Somehow -
....Somehow?
- Like it's my own. We connected.
Not Sora declares if he can do that with others, connect - some hurt, some sharing, some caring, and understanding can't be all bad.
He can't beat that, can he?
He passes n-...other Sora on the test.
My role I've given myself is done. I will leave.
...To home?
To a place I'd like to return to.
A sunset, my first and last..., other Sora murmurs as he goes back to his heart.
Summer vacation...
I see...
Other Sora tells him his hurt can be other Sora's now. The suffering was seperate, but it wasn't unconnected. Not now, not anymore. Other Roxa's hurt would go on for a long time, maybe forever. Because something was suppose to be forgetton, excluded forever. Other Sora would help bear it.
It was twofold though. Oher Sora's hurt would have to be his as well. Everyone else, no one else would understand it, but other Roxas would on some level. Because what was once seperated is now divided between the multiple chains that connect. Chains he made.
Other Roxas tugged the chains. He had control of this. He decided this. Sora accepted this. He would also bear the weight. So long as the hurt remained so would the darkness that veiled things from them.
Stumbling around and around, tripping and falling, not even bothering crying.
They would find it.
Just enough light to reveal to them why things hurt the way they do.
They just had to keep looking for it.
Keep holding on.
Maybe then their memories would become real again.
Then people could stop lying to themselves.
Then the unsavable could be remembered the right way...
He feels these thoughts and they could be either his or Sora's.
Doesn't matter, he'll keep them guarded.
They're his now.
He tells himself the other Roxas and Sora will be fine and he and his own Sora can trust them too.
He'll trust in Roxas who will trust in Sora who can save them.
(Yeah, he can do that for Sora.
And someone, maybe two)
Those that still hurt.
(Not forgotten the taste of salty sweet)
For Sora not to be blinded by the light that claws at the truth.
(Fire cracking darkness)
For something to be brought back again.
(Ice diamond dust fading from light)
It's what he wants.
He...feels it's what he needs.
Someone out there is always trying to rescue you, even if you don't always know or see right away.
They have to be.
Even if he doesn't have the memories to call on yet.
-----
The sunset at the beach is warm.
Summer vacation is coming to a close.
Memories from another time and space pour into him.
And even yet the murmur is still too small.
The paper feels old in his hands.
Sora feels old too.
But he goes.
He decides to.
He... feels it's what he needs.
He can keep the pain a little longer.
He believes for a fact that someone, somewhere out there, always needs to be rescued.
He's him because of them.
He knows this too, deep down, a voice is always telling him.
One he feels is always familiar.
He just had to believe.
Even if he doesn't have the memories to call on yet.
======
Notes: Just something I wrote and got a little carried away with. I might have taken some liberty's here and there as I'm not so sure about all the characterization but it's something I wanted to explore in some fashion.
Author: walking_forward
Character focus: Roxas and Sora
Spoilers: Recoded, particulary close to the ending, and some for the BBS
epilogue.
Summary: Sora had his own suffering. Roxas had his. That might be a problem.
Copy of a copy.
He wasn't really intended to be here, here with the not real Sora in the world of data.
(The word data itself already left a bad taste through out his senses, along with actually being composed of it.)
Wasn't really needed.
Didn't have a role in the grand scheme of things.
No one even knew he was here.
But he was.
He was, with the hurricanes in his being picking up wind as slowly as the not real Sora's smiles stretching upon the not real Sora's face.
No asked him to be here, but no one stopped him from being here either.
So he decided he would be needed.
In his own way.
They're not real after all, he tells not real Sora.
None of them.
If you're not real, what does that make me?
But not real Sora doesn't answer, because the mirrored stranger never asked.
Hurt them, break them, doesn't matter.
It won't go away he tells his other.
Never will.
They will forget.
You don't have to suffer for them.
Just release the pain, don't hold it.
Not real Sora's smile breaks, he's clutching a heart that's not there. What's his heart suppose to do if he can't feel himself beating? Well he's here to judge. If this fake Sora can't deal with it then what of the real one? The real one who's a real heart? But that one is the other nobody's problem, this one is his alone.
The not real Sora looks at him saying, they might forget, they're not the real ones, but for me at least doing something like that would never dissapear from my heart.
He doesn't know if he really wants to punch the fake with that fake smile until it's no more of not even memories; but he's the only one here, the only one who can know for sure. So he doesn't. Doesn't know if it's not right or something he doesn't want. For now he either didn't care or cared too much.
No. Don't even joke.
You're a fool, he told him. Then he leaves, always watching and expecting what comes next.
(Except for the whole Wonderland fiasco where not real Sora actually did mess things up, but got praised and punished with kindness instead. he wondered if Axel would have liked interacting with that world, but he pushes that away. Memories do funny things, he doesn't have an Axel anyway. Then he wonders who Axel was before dismissing the subject away. Does not matter, he tells himself).
Not real Sora smiled and blushed, but the smile weakened and he, of course, forgot the ones who caused such feelings.
You forgot them, he stated to his wondering other.
Yeah, this hole inside me won't go away.
Out of sight out of mind. What does someone you forgot matter anyway. Just forget the pain along with them.
No. This pain tells me what's real or not real. I'll keep it.
He's gone again.
Everything's on schedule.
Not real Sora is at the end of the line. He tells him it's done. He's done everything, everything and still he lost his memories. But not the pain. Memories fool and trick you, they're not reliable at all. They can be your best friends seemingly forever but then leave you feeling like you're nothing.
You lose something in order to gain. The memories you've lost have made you gain pain in their place. You think carrying the pain you feel will make you remember what you forgot.
That's my theory, the smile is back again like a boomerang.
You'll never be free of hope now, he tells his ugly truth.
The pain owns you now, he tells not real Sora. Never to be free of it, never to mend or break it. He had his chance. The light got snuffed out and replaced with the hook of darkness, embedding into his heart with massive weight behind it tearing the hole deeper and bigger for the pain to settle forever.
All this to trick me into darkness?, not real Sora asked, the look he has is more for himself than anyone. Not real Sora only does that for him.
Yes. Illusions that you fell for. You're easy to break, he's acting more spiteful now.
Not real Sora's determination growls at him, let's see who breaks who first.
Gone again.
To appear again.
He can already tell how things went.
Empty inside.
Anything but, I'm filled with pain I don't even remember recieving. I'm sad that I miss someone I don't remember.
And so, you hurt, he's only stating the obvious.
You'll be dragged down into darkness that way. Just cut it all out of you, he's telling not Sora to save himself before it's too late. He's the only one giving him this chance.
No...
No?
I want it, not Sora tells him, it reminds me I forgot something - something important. I can't run. I have to keep it. It's the thing that will tie me to others.
You'll be dragged into darkness.
I accept it. I have to, not Sora won't let go.
Ridiculous.
He will show the other true pain, with his own hands!
They clash.
A copy of a copy can't win.
What, am I not worth it, he asks the other who won't strike him down.
...
Not Sora doesn't need words to tell him the obvious.
Data like everyone else. Just an illusion of a shadow even. What's there to destroy when it's not even real?
You sure pack a punch for someone who's just an illusion, Not Sora shocks his thoughts away.
I feel your hurt, I feel something sharp - intense, but familiar. Somehow -
....Somehow?
- Like it's my own. We connected.
Not Sora declares if he can do that with others, connect - some hurt, some sharing, some caring, and understanding can't be all bad.
He can't beat that, can he?
He passes n-...other Sora on the test.
My role I've given myself is done. I will leave.
...To home?
To a place I'd like to return to.
A sunset, my first and last..., other Sora murmurs as he goes back to his heart.
Summer vacation...
I see...
Other Sora tells him his hurt can be other Sora's now. The suffering was seperate, but it wasn't unconnected. Not now, not anymore. Other Roxa's hurt would go on for a long time, maybe forever. Because something was suppose to be forgetton, excluded forever. Other Sora would help bear it.
It was twofold though. Oher Sora's hurt would have to be his as well. Everyone else, no one else would understand it, but other Roxas would on some level. Because what was once seperated is now divided between the multiple chains that connect. Chains he made.
Other Roxas tugged the chains. He had control of this. He decided this. Sora accepted this. He would also bear the weight. So long as the hurt remained so would the darkness that veiled things from them.
Stumbling around and around, tripping and falling, not even bothering crying.
They would find it.
Just enough light to reveal to them why things hurt the way they do.
They just had to keep looking for it.
Keep holding on.
Maybe then their memories would become real again.
Then people could stop lying to themselves.
Then the unsavable could be remembered the right way...
He feels these thoughts and they could be either his or Sora's.
Doesn't matter, he'll keep them guarded.
They're his now.
He tells himself the other Roxas and Sora will be fine and he and his own Sora can trust them too.
He'll trust in Roxas who will trust in Sora who can save them.
(Yeah, he can do that for Sora.
And someone, maybe two)
Those that still hurt.
(Not forgotten the taste of salty sweet)
For Sora not to be blinded by the light that claws at the truth.
(Fire cracking darkness)
For something to be brought back again.
(Ice diamond dust fading from light)
It's what he wants.
He...feels it's what he needs.
Someone out there is always trying to rescue you, even if you don't always know or see right away.
They have to be.
Even if he doesn't have the memories to call on yet.
-----
The sunset at the beach is warm.
Summer vacation is coming to a close.
Memories from another time and space pour into him.
And even yet the murmur is still too small.
The paper feels old in his hands.
Sora feels old too.
But he goes.
He decides to.
He... feels it's what he needs.
He can keep the pain a little longer.
He believes for a fact that someone, somewhere out there, always needs to be rescued.
He's him because of them.
He knows this too, deep down, a voice is always telling him.
One he feels is always familiar.
He just had to believe.
Even if he doesn't have the memories to call on yet.
======
Notes: Just something I wrote and got a little carried away with. I might have taken some liberty's here and there as I'm not so sure about all the characterization but it's something I wanted to explore in some fashion.